You don’t have to live in a chocolate-box cottage in the Cotswolds to be happy

From finding your tribe to celebrating the positives, here’s how to find contentment wherever you live

A decade ago, when my baby was an actual baby and not a tweenager on the verge of secondary school, I spent my maternity leave engaging in a fantasy that involved shipping out of London and to the countryside. Life would be better, I thought, if I could just trade in this poky two bed flat in south London for a wisteria-covered cottage in, say, Oxfordshire. Or Anywhere-But-The-City-Shire. My husband, who grew up in various parts of Anywhere-But-The-City-Shire, was less convinced., “Bryony, you would burst into flames if you lived more than 500 metres from a Tesco Express,” he would bark, which offended me as I had always seen myself as more of a Little Waitrose kind of gal. 
Anyway, every time he reminded me of my inability to survive without proximity to mini-supermarkets, I would only dig my heels in further, pointing out that I had once interviewed Ray Mears and adding – with a flourish – that I had also read Swallows and Amazons. “You do know,” he would say, with a roll of his eyes, “that the countryside has houses in it? Electricity and central heating and the like?” I shushed him, and continued in my search on Rightmove for our forever home, which would probably look like something from that Hovis advert.
In the end, it was my wise friend Martha who talked sense into me. “The problem with moving,” she said, “is that wherever you go, there you are.” Later, when I got sober and met other alcoholics and addicts, I would hear them talk of “pulling geographicals” – or the practice of moving somewhere different in the hope that it might solve all of your problems. Spoiler alert: it never did, because they took all their issues with them. 
And yet despite knowing this, I still find myself hankering after a life outside London – and sometimes, even, the UK. These feelings are not helped when it feels as if every other day there is some survey which has ranked the towns, cities and countries in the world where the inhabitants are overwhelmingly jolly and content. Last week, for example, the UN released its annual Happiness Report, which found that, for the seventh year in a row, Finland was the happiest place on the planet. The UK had dropped one place since last year, coming in at number 20, just behind Czechia and Lithuania. 
Meanwhile, another recent report looked at the happiest places to live in Britain. The Ribble Valley in Lancashire topped the list, and outrageously it was the only place north of the Watford Gap to make the top 10. People in the Midlands and beyond should not be too disheartened, however, as another study that came out last week found that simply living near a heritage site, such as the Liverpool Metropolitan Cathedral or the Lake District, can increase wellbeing. “For the first time, we have robust economic evidence that heritage makes a significant contribution to people’s quality of life,” said Lord Neil Mendoza, chairman of Historic England. “This new ground-breaking research shows us that the everyday local heritage found in towns and cities across England plays a comparable and valuable role.”
Then again, a study published last month found that Falmouth was the most depressing place to live in the UK. Given the town’s turquoise blue waters and amazing beaches (not to mention its abundance of Tesco Express stores), I think we can all safely surmise that these so-called studies are probably not worth the paper they are written on.
But all of this got me wondering: how do you find happiness wherever you happen to live? How do you maximise your mood if you happen to reside in a shoebox in south London rather than a pretty chocolate-box cottage in the Cotswolds? I’ve come up with a few ideas to help you on your way to wellbeing, without having to pull a geographical. 
It is the season all over. Even the most urban of areas are currently in bloom – and there is nothing more cheering than the sight of a blossom tree as you trudge to work down the Hackney Road, the pink and white petals somehow allowing you to forget for a moment that you live in grey, old Britain. The good news is that blossom will last a bit longer this year, according to the National Trust, thanks to some cold snaps. Which means more time to marvel at spring’s best spectacle. 
It doesn’t have to be big, it just has to feel a little less like a city. Studies have found that psychosis is more prevalent in urban settings than rural ones, and while looking at a tree is absolutely not going to cure mental illness, most research shows the positive correlation between the great outdoors and happiness. A 2021 report by the Mental Health Foundation found that even just watching nature documentaries has a beneficial effect on people’s wellbeing. 
Get involved in the local community, whether it’s the WI, or the church, or just getting down to the nearest pub for the weekly quiz. I joined my nearest Crossfit gym a year ago, and now bump into people I know every time I leave the house. Remember: where you live, connection with others is key. 
Fling open the windows and let in the air after the long winter. Because everything feels better when your home has had a bit of a tidy.
Focus on what you do like about where you live, rather than what you don’t. We all love a moan, but what if we spent a bit more time thinking about the positives of our neighbourhoods, rather than the negatives. Make a list of why you appreciate where you live, and every time you are tempted to whinge about it, refer to said list and remind yourself that if nothing else, at least you don’t live with me.
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